Crosswords have been a passion and a friend recently introduced me to a web crossword site. The introduction developed into an addiction and I find myself spending hours solving crosswords online these days.

The simplest of clues made me realise one of my biggest challenges. It’s strange how something as plain as a crossword clue can open your eyes to your innermost issue.

Okay, so the clue was (6 across, two letter word): A reply to signify refusal, denial or non-acceptance. 

As plain and straight-forward as the answer was I didn’t get it almost till the end. And when I did get it, I had an AHA moment, the eureka sorts. It was ‘NO’.

It’s the one word I can’t bring myself to say no matter how much refusal, denial or non-acceptance there is involved! I’ve mostly used the alternative ‘Maybe’, ‘Possibly’, ‘Later’ and an entourage of similar borderline, escapist answers that don’t really promise anything. I can now see how deceiving it can be for the person I’m dealing with. But, I also see how I must learn to say the word as it is when I need to.

NO. SORRY. I CAN’T. I WON’T. I SHAN’T EVER. NEVER EVER. NOT AT ALL. WILL NOT. WON’T. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phew! That was cathartic. Liberating.

There’s such a fine line between being evasive and taking a firm stand. Stoic refusal can be the most difficult thing to do when there is the option of smooth escapism. But life is about making the harder choices, isn’t it? And I know there are so many people out there saying that there is no BLACK or WHITE…but a lot of GREY in this world. I agree. But its not the grey people who make it big, no? It’s those who are distinctly black or white. Who say dramatically controversial things that get talked about the media so much. I’d rather be the social activist who strongly supports a conventionally accepted ‘vice’ or a priest who opposes it with all his might than a politician who treads the line in between.

So yes, its’s 2008! I must learn a new word everyday. I was thinking of using the word humdrum today and mediocre tomorrow but thanks to the crossword, it’s NO every day. Every single day.

Crosswords have been a passion and a friend recently introduced me to a web crossword site. The introduction developed into an addiction and I find myself spending hours solving crosswords online these days.

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