It’s amazing how things that are absolutely normal to you and just a part of who you are, can seem so strange and awkward to someone else. And it’s not until someone points out that you are different that you realise you are. We all are. We are so different and yet so similar.

I, for one, would like to believe there is just no one else like me. I mean, no one who can emote the way I do and I am beginning to believe this more strongly as others reinstate it.

Embracing our awkward habits, weird mannerisms, retarded behaviour and inexcusable thoughts is just one small step to loving ourselves more. If I don’t love how different I am, I can’t expect anyone to. If I don’t love me, who will?

So anyways, all the gibberish aside let me get down to what I came here to do – make a list of those things you must know about me that I’d like to think are strange (pls tell me if you identify with any of these and I think we can be friends ‘forever’):

  • I can cry bitterly feeling deep remorse and anxiety at one second and laugh at something terribly funny the very next moment. It’s what I call my super human ability to change moods. Be sad, be happy, pretend to happy when I’m sad, pretend to be sad when I’m happy, cry bitterly when I feel like, cry when I don’t feel like, cry when I want someone to feel sorry, laugh when I feel like crying and then pretend that the tears were tears of joy, laugh till I cry – literally…this list is never ending. I don’t expect you to change moods like me, to be instantly resurrected out of one state into another like me…..but you can live with it when I do!
  • I spend unjustifiable hours imagining things in my head. Conversations. What you will say to me when I see you. What I will say back. What will not be said and how I will be fine with the silence. I rehearse my lines in my head and then look in the mirror and see how you’d see me when I say them. I swell anticipation at the smallest of incidents and something you said or did that probably never meant anything at all (literally) – still eats me day in and day out. I imagine what it would be being you. I imagine being in your body. I imagine myself in your clothes. I imagine plots for many books I intend to write. I imagine stories for many films I intend to direct. I imagine what I’d do if I couldn’t imagine any more.
  • I dream. I dream when I sleep. I dream when I’m awake. When I sleep I see so many things that I write in a book and know for sure have meanings. Some don’t have meanings. I still write them. I like to know the dreams of others but am sometimes afraid to ask. I believe in symbols in dreams. My dreams are what I am.
  • I set limits for myself and make everything a little competition for myself. I must reach the bus stop before the lady walking next to me or else I lose. I must walk till that pole before this taxi overtakes me or I lose. I must make you laugh at my joke or I lose. I must take a shower in 3 minutes or I lose. I must count how many steps I take from the bus stop home. If I miss, I must start again. If I am about to lose any of these competitions, I change the rules. I change the rules so that I can always win. And I always do.
  • I make lists. I make grocery lists, chore lists, money lists, receipts lists, bill lists, time table lists, birthday lists, calling lists, lists of lists and invest a lot of planning into anything before I execute it (if ever).
  • I dance a lot when I’m alone. Classical, R’n’B, exotic, crazy, freestyle, mystyle and futile.
  • I talk a lot. When you are not there, I talk to myself. I talk to animals I see from my window, I talk to characters from the books I read, I talk to movie stars, I talk to dolls, I talk to Jesus – most of the time.
  • I am tired writing now and I’m going to stop. But that’s strange. Because the weirdest thing about me is that I never know when to stop. It’s like I got made with no brakes on. I can’t stop loving. I can’t stop forgiving. I can’t stop talking. I can’t stop being crazy. I can’t stop being me. Ok I have to stop writing now. STOP.

Oh. I think I forgot to mention this. ‘You’ in this post is every person I know and relate with every waking moment.

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