Ok. It’s good to come out clean someday. It might as well be today. I’ll explain why today.

I’ve been sick since afternoon and feel terribly weak. I have excruitiating pain in my body and my legs feel like they will give way any moment. I want to sleep, to rest, to lay this head down on my bed and just lie there! But ofcourse I can’t because I’m at work. I’m about to leave to go home, where I have to cook my own dinner before I take any pills. The luxury of simply lying down will only come at about 11 pm by which time of course, I should be asleep anyways. 

I don’t know how I got here. By here I don’t mean this office. I mean this place in my life. 

I am painfully reminded of better times when I had the pleasure of pretending to be sick to earn a quick massage from my dad. I had to put up an extremely convincing act to get dad to massage my legs or arms, but he called my bluff more than once. I had to occasionally fake a moan or a forced tear to get that extra five minutes but it worked like a charm sometimes. 

Sammy, also, was less convinced by the act. But I must say that I had often managed to attract patrial sympathy from him and get him to run errands for me half-heartedly.

I could get food fed straight to my mouth by mamma, get my hair oiled and combed, get to watch TV and ‘rest’…all when I was not really as sick as I portrayed myself to be. 

The game is over now though. You can’t play pretend forever! The truth isonly those who love you notice you when you want them to. It’s not even worth trying with others. I just told a friend I was genuinely not feeling well and all I got was a ‘AAAAWWWWW….’ and what followed was a story of how she had the flu recently, followed by how her mobile contract was running out and how her service provider is rubbish!

So, yah…I miss them pretend days! 

Maybe I can pretend they are over 🙁 

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