St. Valentine…

St. Valentine…

St. Valentine,

I know you are dead but I thought it would be fun to write to you.

FYI, you’ve caused quite the riot on earth since you’ve been gone. I thought you should know what’s been happening….it’s utter chaos every February 14th, thanks to you! Here’s a list of things I think you should know:

  • People aren’t telling how much they love each other throughout the year and then using your birthday, or death anniversary or whatever February 14th is, as an excuse to say the three words that would mean so much if said once in a while otherwise also.
  • Every year on this day, the planet is infested with red hearts! It’s like the 11th plague of Egypt, just that it’s all over the world! They’re in all forms – greeting cards, pillows, plastic frames, t-shirts…..arghhhh…..what a waste! Human hearts look nothing like that even!
  • And so many cupids around! OMG….what are cupids anyway? Did you invent them, Valo??? If so, that was a sad and sorry concept. What a wrong and violent image of love to portray to our children….little flying fluffy angels that will hit you with an arrow and you will then fall in love? Ouch! No wonder they say love hurts! Cupids are stupid.
  • Also, you will be glad to know that the Shiv Sena, this politicial party that believes it’s the “moral police” in my city, have made a big deal of the day! They catch romancing couples and give them a tough time! Yeah! Couples in love roam around arm in arm every day of the year but they only see them today! On Feb 14th! How lame, na? Like seriously crippled!
  • Then, to top it all, the big brands are making a stack-load of rokda out of the whole affair. They’re selling everything they normally sell in pink or red pairs today and foolish couples are buying the maal at ridiculous prices….all in the name of love! If they just wanted to waste money, they could’ve burnt them in bundles, na?
  • And finally, just have to add that there are still some of us left who know that true love doesn’t need a particular day to be expressed. We value people around us everyday and tell those whom we care about how much they mean to us more often than once a year!

I’m sure this is not what you intended but it’s the way it is. I hope you’re not rolling in your grave!

After thoughts: 
Who uses a heart-shaped pillow, anyway? HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IS THAT? Where am I to place my head? On the left bulge or the right? Or on the pointy end?

I think those pillows are designed to destroy relationships! You’re bound to not sleep well and then take the rage out on your partner! No wonder divorces are on the rise! OMG!

No Sleep…No Love! Simple! In the name of love, please let’s protest heart-shaped pillows! They’re evil! Please join my campaign to ban these evil romance killers forever!

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