John 2: 23-25
“Now when He was in Jerusalem at the Passover, during the feast, many believed in His name when they saw the signs which He did. But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men, and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man.”
Here are two questions I asked myself this morning, after reading this passage from John 2:
Why do I BELIEVE in Jesus?
Many believed in Jesus because they saw the signs He performed. How many from that exact crowd would’ve followed Him only at His Word? I don’t know. But then I found myself wondering: Why do I believe in Jesus? Is it because of what He can do or who He is? I’d like to believe it is the latter; but then why are my prayers riddled with requests rather than worship? Why am I asking God to do things for me so much more than telling Him how much I love Him? Why is it frustrating when I don’t “get” that miracle I’m waiting for, as if the Miracle Maker isn’t enough for me? Why am I eager to share testimonies of what He has done and not just who He is and has been to me?
I deeply desire to be wanted by people for who I am and not just what I do. But, is that how I want God?
It was hard to deal with some of these answers.
What does Jesus KNOW about me?
I found it intriguing that Jesus didn’t commit himself to these people because He knew the intention of their heart. He knew their fickleness and their hidden agendas. He knew what they really wanted despite what their words said. He knew their deepest desires, tucked away in their hearts, hidden from the exteriors they portrayed.
This got me thinking: What does God KNOW about me, that no one else does? Does He look inside my heart and feel confident to commit Himself to me because I really love Him — no strings attached? Or does He see that I’m fickle, shallow and just like the rest of His followers — wanting something from Him? Does He know that my real desire is to be seen and not to make Him seen the way He’d like to be through my life?
Does He know that I’m really for Him, that I advocate Him because I believe in HIM and not just HIS POWER or HIS MIGHT or HIS ABILITY TO DO MIRACLES? Or does He look at me and see exactly the same thing that He sees in all men – ulterior motives?
Something to think about for me. And for you.
I started studying the book of John because I wanted to see Jesus from the eyes of the person who was probably closest to Him — John. John keeps referring to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved the most. I want to know why He does that too.
I plan to post musings from my journaling and study on the gospel according to John more regularly on this blog. Please enter your e-mail address below to subscribe and get notified each time I upload something.